A housewife (Taapsee Pannu) gets slapped by her husband.
Husband says (without a hint of an apology), “Shit happens yaar. It shouldn’t have happened.. par ab ho gaya na?”
Mother-in-Law (Tanvi Azmi) tells her, “Thoda bardaasht karna seekhna chahiye auraton ko”.
Mother (Ratna Pathak Shah) is extremely upset that Taapsee is considering divorce, “Yehi din dekhna baaki reh gaya tha.”
Her brother thinks it is ‘one small episode’ and thinks it’s silly that she’s taking it so far.
Her neighbour (Diya Mirza) tells her, “Rishte banane mein utni effort nahi lagti jitni nibhane mein lagti hain.”
Even her lawyer (who’s a woman) thinks it’s “Just one slap”.
This is not a scene out of some jhopadpatti. This is a scene from a posh South Delhi locality.
Taapsee says, “Just a slap.. par.. nahin maar sakta.”
She doesn’t want revenge. She carries no resentment. But she’s decided to take the extreme step. She wants divorce.
It’s an unusual plot for a Bollywood film. But if you look beyond the Thappad, you realize that the film is not about the physical slap at all. It’s not about domestic violence.
It’s about a woman’s stand for her self-respect in a society where men are pampered and behave with a sense of entitlement.
It’s about the hundreds of other thappads that have become part of her life. And how she has become resigned to them.
Below the belt thappads like, “Tum driving seekhna chahti ho.. arey pehle dhang se parathe banana seekh lo..”
Subtle ones like, “Ab sex ke liye kya bheek maangu tumse?”
Abrasive ones like, “Tu housewife hai.. aukaad mein reh teri.”
And thappads like these she is getting not only from her husband, but from her in-laws AND from her own parents!
The movie Thappad is NOT a feminist movie. It’s not about women vs men. Like good powerful cinema it’s a mirror of society. It’s not even seeking to suggest that women should take extreme steps to restore their self-respect. It’s just an amazingly well made movie that leaves you with a lot of questions.
I am a Life Coach. I too hold up a mirror to my clients. And over the years I have coached many women to powerfully deal with similar issues.
The solutions are not easy. But they are possible. And they take effort and commitment. Divorce is definitely a solution to any kind of Thappad. But it is not the only solution. And it is never an easy solution.
The thing to remember is that as human beings we always have the privilege of choice. And with choice comes responsibility.
Every married man who watches this movie will probably ask himself, “Am I willing to take responsibility for all the Thappads (physical or verbal) that I have inflicted knowingly or unknowingly on my wife? Am I committed to creating a Thappad-free marriage?”
Every married woman who watches this movie will probably ask herself (just the way Taapsee does in the movie), “Am I willing to acknowledge my share of responsibility for all the Thappads (physical or verbal) that I have received in my marriage.. and how I let them happen? Am I committed to creating a Thappad-free marriage? Am I willing to give up playing victim and start standing up for my self-respect?”
Every parent who watches this film will probably ask, “Am I unknowingly conditioning my son to live an entitled and pampered life? Am I empowering my daughter to stand up for herself and live life powerfully irrespective of whether society changes or not?”
That was my review folks..
P.S. A BIG thank you to all my clients over the last few days who pushed me to go watch the film last night! It was life-changing.