Tag Archives: happiness

It’s just a game!

My daughter’s exams start today. I asked her how she’s feeling. You can guess what she replied! We’ve all been through this, haven’t we? Here’s something I shared with her, thought it would be useful to you too.

“Arista, I know you’ve been very committed, very hardworking and you’ve prepared well. That’s what counts.. the effort. You see like any other game of life, all school exams are also a game.

Your job is to play the game well, play it with passion, with fervour, give the game all you’ve got.. but don’t make the game significant. Do you understand what I mean by that?”

“Don’t make it significant.. hmmm.. does it mean don’t make the game important, don’t make a big deal of the game Pappa?”, she asked.

“Bingo Aru, you see often when we play the game of career, the game of relationships, the game of business.. or whatever other game of life we play, we often get so attached to the game that we base our happiness and peace of mind on the outcome of the game. We don’t get a promotion, we sulk through the year, we have a breakup, we get shattered, our business bombs, we never recover from that!

You, your existence, your happiness is much more important than winning or losing the games you play. Societal conditioning puts too much emphasis on winning, losing is looked down upon. And so you go nuts trying to win and you get too involved in the game and lose your well-being in the process.

I tell people, play the game well, play it to win, don’t play it NOT to lose (there’s a huge difference), but don’t be obsessed with the game. It’s just a game!

Your real exam is in holding your nerve, staying relaxed and not succumbing to the exam pressure.”

“Got that Pappa.. it’s just a game!”, she said as she left for her first exam!

My definition of success!

If I wake up with a good mood, feeling fresh, healthy, energetic and inspired to create something new, explore, experiment with life and be upto something..

If during the day I face problems but I am powerfully able to deal with them without getting mad at myself or anybody else and without burdening myself with worry and stress..

If at the end of the day I feel I’ve lived with grace and ease, if I think I’ve loved well and lived well and squeezed the juice out of life, then, I believe, I’ve had a very very successful day!

A 50:50 Life

yinAs part of my coaching practice, I often come across situations where a Client is in a blissfully happy state and wants to stay in that state forever. Who doesn’t want to? But for some reason that state doesn’t last. Here’s what I have come to understand of how life works and WHY it works that way.

First – an exercize for your mind. Remember the genie and the magic lamp story? Imagine YOU have the magic lamp, you rub the magic lamp and out comes the genie.
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In pursuit of Happiness

kittenThis story is about a beautiful, rich lady who complained to her psychiatrist that she felt her whole life was empty; it had no meaning. So the counselor called the lady who cleaned the office floors, and then said to the lady, “I am going to ask Beatrice here to tell you how she found happiness. All I want you to do is listen.”

So Beatrice put down her broom and sat on a chair and told her story: “Well, 25 years ago, my husband died of malaria and that same year my only son was killed by a car. I had nobody…I had nothing left…I couldn’t sleep…I couldn’t eat…I never smiled at anyone…I even thought of taking my own life.
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Today is different!

todayYou’re sitting in front of your comp. And forwarding a joke to your friends. You smile to yourself even as you’re sending the joke. You can imagine your friends smiling too. Guess one of them does. Coz he replies immediately “Good one, pal!”. You’re not the one who made up the joke, but you almost feel as if you did. Ah, that makes you open many of the unread mails in your inbox. You find many nice jokes in those. Very soon you have a cleaned up inbox. What an accomplishment! Something you had planned for the last one week is finally over.

You open the door only to find two leaking milk packets at your feet. The milkman sucks.. is what you would have normally said. Not today. Not now. You’re in too good a mood to get mad at him. You decide to spare your wife of the agony as well. You want to give her break. Let’s give her a surprise, you think. You hate making tea, but today is different. You make tea and toast the bread as well. Which wife wouldn’t want a husband who does that? An early morning thank you kiss is all you need to keep going.
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Unlabel yourself

LabelsHow often have you heard someone telling you “I’m the type who likes to be busy.” Or “My house is always neat and tidy.” “I’m a class-topper.” Or even “I always play to win.”
The list can go on and on.. “I CAN NEVER…” ,“I’M TOO FINICKY TO …”, “ I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A…”,

You might think “What’s wrong in saying all that?” Problem is when we say such things we’re setting ourselves up. We tend to get so attached to that cute little story we’ve created for ourselves, we want that story to come true. Every single time. And when even once something that doesn’t conform to our story happens, we feel the heavens have collapsed on us! We feel lost, identity-less! I’ve seen people who live their stories all their lives. They carry their labels on them whether they change professions, cities, relationships..
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The ‘should-be’ trap

AcceptanceAre you caught up in the ‘SHOULD BE’ trap?

I was. I always felt that things SHOULD happen the way I expected.
My clients SHOULD be reasonable.
My family SHOULD be more understanding.
My boss SHOULD be more sensitive.
My colleagues SHOULD be less jealous.
The traffic SHOULD follow lane discipline.
The neighbour’s dog SHOULD bark less at night.
The government SHOULD be more effective.
The weather SHOULD be ..
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Tomorrow is an Illusion

Time is NowDon’t put off to tomorrow what you can do today.. is what everyone says. And I agree. Yet I procrastinate..so often. Like most people alive, it comes really easily to me! But there’s one thing I don’t procrastinate about.. living Life!

Life is far too precious for me to put off to tomorrow. But I did try.. mind you. Many years ago, I convinced myself that there are a million other things more important today than living my life. And I promised myself that I would live life to the fullest.. tomorrow! And I waited.. and waited.. and waited. But tomorrow never came! While I was busy working and worrying and fire-fighting, Life kept waiting for me.
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