Love and Fear are the two primary human emotions. And so I’ve always been a student of how these two work.

Here are a few things I’ve learnt over the years:

1) Love and judgement cannot co-exist. If you really love someone there is zero judgement; you’re not hung up with whether they’re right or wrong. They’re just who they are and you accept them the way they are, with all their flaws and imperfections. If you’re judging someone, love is the first casualty.

2) There is a very distinct way in which human beings see fear compared to animals. For animals there is fear only when they sense danger. For human beings we see EVERYTHING as danger! Even when there isn’t any! Most of the danger we see is the harm something can do to our own image of ourselves. We are afraid of looking bad in other people’s eyes. It’s the biggest fear of them all.

The interplay between Love and Fear creates a very powerful recipe for building great relationships.

To put it simply… accept people the way they are, don’t judge them AND make sure there is nothing in your behaviour that will hurt their image of themselves. Do what it takes to make them feel good about themselves.

An all love and no fear relationship may sound unrealistic and idealistic but it is not impossible. It’s only a question of how badly the other person matters to us.

P.S. This wonderful stray dog just came and plonked himself at my feet and the whole dynamic of love and fear flashed through my head!