Sunday 6:49am.
I was leaving from home to drop Arista for a nature walk organized by her school.

ME: “Arista, your mom told me you’re a bit stressed today. What’s the problem? Tell me. Maybe I can help.”
ARISTA: “It’s the 6th and 8th graders Pappa. They’re going to join us 7th graders for the walk and I’m always worried they will judge me.”

ME: “OK. We have 11 minutes to reach the hill. If you remember what I tell you while we drive you’ll never have to worry about anyone judging you EVER.”

Arista was all ears.

ME: “Have you ever watched a tennis match on TV?”
ARISTA: “Yes.”

ME: “Let’s say Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are playing on the court, what’s usually around the court?”
ARISTA: “The audience which is in the stands.”

ME: “And in the stands what do they talk about when they watch the match?”
ARISTA: “The players, how they are playing etc.”

ME: “So in the stands people are creating opinions and judgements about the players.. what they did right and wrong, what’s good and not good about the game, how the game should be and should not be.. etc etc.. right?
ARISTA: “Right.”

ME: “And these conversations in the stands.. how much do they impact the scoreboard?”
ARISTA (puzzled): “Nothing at all.”

ME: “Absolutely. And the players on the court.. what do they talk about?”
ARISTA: “They don’t talk. They play.”

ME: “In short, it’s no conversation and all action on the court. And what’s the impact of this on the scoreboard?”
ARISTA: “Complete impact.”

ME: “Now tell me Arista, most people on this planet – take a guess, where do they like to be in their life.. in the stands or on the court?”
ARISTA (laughing): “IN THE STANDS!”

ME: “Why?”
ARISTA: “I don’t know!”

ME: “Is it easier in the stands or on the court?”
ARISTA: “In the stands.”

ME: “Where is the risk higher? In the stands or on the court?”
ARISTA: “On the court.”

ME: “Who grows in life? People who are in the stands or on the court?”
ARISTA: “People who are on the court.”

ME: “Look out of the car. These people who are jogging on a cold Sunday morning.. are they in the stands or on the court?”
ARISTA: “On the court.”

ME: “And people who experiment with their careers and their lives.. are they in the stands or on the court?”
ARISTA: “On the court.”

ME: “People who criticize other people and comment on how they are living their lives..”
ARISTA: “In the stands.”

ME: “Which is the larger majority of people in life.. the ones in the stands or on the court?”
ARISTA: “The ones in the stands.”

ME: “So do you see it is NORMAL for people to be in the stands? And that includes your 6th and 8th grader friends if they are judging you.”
ARISTA: “Yes.”

ME: “Do you realize YOU are also judging your 6th and 8th grader friends? So where are YOU right now?
ARISTA: “In the stands!”

ME: “But do you also want to be like everyone else.. in the stands?”
ARISTA: “No.”

ME: “So where do you want to be for the rest of your life?”
ARISTA: “Like you. On the court.”

ME: “That’s my girl. And are you going to be worried about some schoolmate or in the future some colleague or a mother-in-law judging you?”
ARISTA: “No. I’m not. Because I now know it’s normal for people to be in the stands.. and it’s ok for them to be there. But I choose not to be there.”

————–
A life on the court is an extraordinary life. You see we have ONLY 80 odd years on this planet. Why settle for anything less?

P.S. My invitation: Get onto the court today. Do something which you wouldn’t have ever imagined you would do. Let the hill set you free!