Jack was an electrical engineer. His days were exhausting and mentally demanding; he would need to deal with complex physics as part of his design work. One oversight could lead to his company losing crores of rupees, or worse, him getting fired.

It was a Thursday and Jack was the most tired he had ever been. All he wanted to do was to eat dinner with his wife Jill. Jill was a chef by profession and loved treating her husband to her new experimental dishes. She was excited for him to come home so he could taste her new recipe for soup.

When Jack came home, his face was drained of colour from fatigue. He threw his briefcase on the floor, loosened his tie, greeted his wife and sat at the dining table. ‘This soup looks delicious,’ he said.

“It’s a special recipe that I have been working on all day. I wanted you to taste it first,” a giddy Jill said.

Jack took a ladle and poured himself the creamy red soup. He looked up at his beaming wife, watching her every move. She slid a spoon across the table for him and then put both hands under her chin, elbows on the dining table, and leaned forward. Jack slurped a spoonful. Tomatoes, good. Chillies, good. Salt, bad. The soup was totally bland.

‘What would you do in this situation? You’ve just had a terrible day at work. How would you tell your wife about the poor quality of her cooking?’

Thankfully, Jack “engineered” a plan on the spot. He grabbed another spoon from the cutlery drawer and said, smiling, “It’s been so long since I’ve lovingly fed you. Come and try this.” Saying so he fed her some soup.

”Oh! I forgot the salt,” she jumped up, arriving at the conclusion by herself.

Jack could have easily criticized his wife’s soup using unkind words. Instead, he chose to give his feedback with sensitivity. People are usually resilient. They can stand being wrong, but only when it is pointed out to them with love.

Being blunt and abusive can be emotionally draining for both, and the person receiving the feedback switches off after some time. As is commonly said. “It was not what you said, it’s how you said it.” Our tone choice, body language and facial expressions account for more than the words we use.