We all want to be loved right? By our family, by our friends, our colleagues, our neighbors.. And so often we do get that love. We really do. Even if we don’t believe it! Question is, how much do WE really love OURSELVES? I would say most of us are so caught up in attracting attention, care and respect from others, we rarely stop to experience that beautiful feeling of love for ourselves – from within.
Much of this thinking is because of the conditioning we get from society around us. Society has always considered ‘giving’ to be a much bigger virtue than ‘receiving’. Love thy enemy, love thy neighbor, love thy family.. We do all that, and forget to love ourselves.
To the extent that so often we feel guilty of spending on ourselves, even if we need or deserve something. Even if there is nobody to question our decision. Sub-consciously there is always a feeling that tells us to suppress our desires and yet some part of us is fighting that feeling, wanting attention and care and quite often not getting it. We feel if we are seen to love ourselves we might get seen as self-centered or even selfish.
Our body and our mind are our biggest possessions, our biggest reality! We need to nurture them, care for them, give them all the love they need. Why wait for someone else to do that? What does someone else have to do with it? Why not do it ourselves? And why, for god’s sake, worry about what ‘others’ may think of us?
It’s important here to differentiate between people who are egoistic and those who have a healthy self-love. They are two different things altogether. Egoistic people always want to be the centre of attention, they crave to be heard. It seems to us like they love nothing but themselves; the reality is that they are insecure and are sub-consciously longing for love and respect.
Healthy self-love on the other hand is something you experience from within. You don’t broadcast it to the rest of humanity! You buy an expensive cell-phone because you want to gift it to yourself, you occasionally tell your husband you don’t feel like cooking that day because you feel like you deserve a break!
People who love themselves accept compliments gracefully. When you tell them “Congratulations! You deserved the victory”, they don’t say “Ah.. that was just luck..”. They say “Thank you. Yes I did”. Love yourself and you will find that people love you too. Tell yourself “I’m good for nothing” and the world will say “You’re right.”
High self-esteem, confidence, feelings of security, ambition, a hunger for success all come from a fundamental love for oneself. If that love is missing, it will show in our actions, and in our results. And most importantly, if we don’t know how to love ourselves, how can we expect us to be capable of loving others?
And when I’m talking of love, I mean unconditional love. I mean an unwavering love for yourself even when you’ve committed a big blunder, even when you’ve messed up an important relationship or a significant opportunity. I’m talking about passionately standing by yourself even when the whole world has given up on you. People who know how to genuinely love themselves, know how to forgive themselves. And how to learn from their mistakes and become better, stronger..
Love yourself truly and you will find balance in your life. Discipline, hard-work, relaxation, indulgence all will come into your life in the right proportions. Your sub-conscious mind will want you to have a little of everything. Your self-love will act like a thermostat. It will not let you have too much of work, nor too much of play. And the Universe will rearrange things to make it all work out for you.
But it has to begin with you. You ask the world to give you love, you might even get it. But to love yourself, nobody else can do it for you. It’s really very simple. Today, tell yourself “I love myself.” And feel it. Mean it. From your heart.
And see how the world falls in love with you.
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