“I don’t want to go for the farm visit today Pappa, I only want to go for the one on 23rd Feb,” Arista told me just now.
ME: “That’s ok, that’s what I’ve told your class teacher and it’s not compulsory anyway.”
ARISTA: “But WHAT IF my teacher is not ok with me not coming today.”
ME: “Has the teacher said she’s not ok with you not coming today?”
ARISTA: “No.”
ME: “When will we have to deal with her saying she’s not okay?”
ARISTA: “When she says it.”
ME: “And if that happens when will it happen?”
ARISTA: “In the future.”
ME: “Are we in the future now?”
ARISTA: “No!”
ME: “Then where are we?”
ARISTA: “In the present.”
ME: “So will you please stay in the present and let’s deal with the future when we get to the future?”
ARISTA: “Ok.. I get it.”
ME: “You know my mom is in hospital for the last few days. And everyday when I leave the hospital I go and eat my favourite food.”
(Arista laughed!)
ME: “If I say, WHAT IF her condition doesn’t improve, WHAT IF the hospital stay continues for another week, tell me, when do I have to deal with that?”
ARISTA: “IF and WHEN that happens.. in the future.”
ME: “One day when I myself am hospitalized and you and Arjun have to take turns being my attendant, everytime you leave the hospital I want you to go to KFC and enjoy your favourite food, not sit and worry about me. Do you realize that what’s happening in hospital and what’s happening in a restaurant are TWO DIFFERENT EVENTS in time and space and one thing has nothing to do with the other? One is X and the other is Y and X has no bearing on Y and vice-versa.”
ARISTA (still laughing): “I really get it.”
ME: “In a nutshell Arista, there are things you can do about something and there are times when you can’t do anything but be patient and wait for the future to arrive. Your worrying is not going to change the future. And 99% of what you worry about never happens anyway”
ARISTA: “Absolutely Pappa, I will remember this.”
P.S. Thank you for your love and concern. My mom’s health is improving every day and should be discharged in a day or two. But even if the discharge is delayed I’ll deal with that IF and WHEN that happens.. IN THE FUTURE!