A story I tell clients. A monkey wanders into an empty house. On the table, a glass jar. Inside — a fat, ripe banana. The monkey’s hand slides in easily. Wrapped around the banana, it won’t slide back out. The neck of the jar is narrow. Hand and banana together — too big. A day…
A man found a cocoon. Inside, a monarch butterfly was trying to break free. He sat and watched it struggle for hours. It pushed through a tiny opening. Then it stopped. It looked stuck. It looked like it was in pain. He felt he had to help. He took a pair of scissors and cut…
I watched The Odyssey recently — Nolan’s new blockbuster. Monsters, witches, gods, storms, the works. (No spoilers, don’t worry.) 🙂 Halfway through, it hit me: there are no monsters or witches in our lives. But most of us live like there are.We live in a world with WiFi and washing machines. Our biggest threats are…
On 1st September, my wife Seema and I went to Varanasi. If you follow me on social media, you’ve seen the chaat, the Banarasi kachori, us having a ball. Here’s the part the photos didn’t show. I had one intention: to sit at Manikarnika, the cremation ghat where the pyres burn day and night, and…
A sadhu lived on a hill above a village. People climbed up to ask him questions. He always answered correctly. One boy didn’t believe it. He caught a baby bird and hid it in his cupped hands. “Sadhuji, is the bird alive or dead?” It was a trap. If the sadhu said “alive”, the boy…
You are fully alive if: Your energy feels like your own — not just pressure, deadlines, or other people’s expectations. You feel things in your body, not just your head. Tiredness. Ease. Tightness. Warmth. You are not numb from the neck down. You can say what is true for you — without constantly holding back,…
From 1994 to 2009 I worked in the corporate world. Fifteen years. Six jobs. Three cities. TEN managers. And I had the same complaint about every single one of them. “My managers always overwork me.” A Friday evening, 2001. My boss walked over at seven with a file and said he needed it Monday morning….
1. Buy yourself time. You don’t have to answer on the spot. Try: “Let me check and get back to you.” A few hours of distance often turns a reflex “yes” into an honest answer. 2. Keep it short and human. You don’t owe a long explanation. One honest line is enough: “I wish I…
Violence doesn’t start with missiles. It starts with a word, a label, a judgement. Milind Jadhav explores how everyday language creates separation — and what we can do about it.
Turning 55 in a corporate career doesn’t mean it’s over. Life coach Milind Jadhav shares what IT and corporate professionals can do to find purpose and a second act.
Rakesh Shah sent me a message on a Tuesday evening — 11:23 PM, Toronto time. He’d just got home from work. “Milind, I have given 18 years to IT. Good companies, decent money, no major complaints. But I sit at my desk every single day and I genuinely do not know why I am doing…
“You know exactly what you need to do. So why aren’t you doing it? A life coach with 13 years of experience explains the real reasons high-achieving professionals get stuck.”
Most of my clients come to me stuck. Not because their situation is impossible — but because the frame through which they’re seeing it is too small. A manager in his early 40s once told me he had “no options left” in his career. Same job, same frustrations, ten years running. We didn’t change his…
This beautiful piece of calligraphy is prominently displayed at the entrance of of my bro-in-law Sandy’s house. As I observed it yesterday it got me thinking about the fascinating ways in which time and money are connected in our lives..read on. 1) We trade our time to earn money, then use that money to reclaim…
We’re already 18 days into the new year. Hope it has begun well for you. Hope you are not carrying any baggage from 2025 into 2026. Otherwise it’s a new year only on the calendar, no? The truth is, most of us drag the past into our present without even realizing it—unfinished conversations, broken promises,…
This image of our brain with these four gems (pardon my sarcasm) has been sitting on my smartphone for most of 2025. I am in admiration and awe at the ease with which they run our life and sometimes ruin our life. So I thought I’d put all my research about these the prefrontal cortex,…
1) Like success, failure is just another life experience. Don’t give either of themtoo much significance. 2) Patience is everything. People who eventually succeed are not necessarily better than others, they are people who didn’t quit. 3) Money is important but if you chase it, it will elude you. If you commit your life to…
What is Life Coaching? It’s a powerful conversation between a coach and a client. Just like coaching in any arena (like sports, arts, music) where a coach helps a client perform better, similarly in life coaching, a coach helps the client perform better in some key areas of their life. Think of it this way:…
What if the words you speak could literally change the structure of matter around you? What if your emotions had the power to transform water at a molecular level? These questions might sound like science fiction, but they’re at the heart of some remarkable experiments that have sparked conversations worldwide. The Experiment That Changed Everything…
It’s Friday afternoon and you’re staring at your computer screen. You’ve put in 60+ hours at work this week, yet you have this nagging feeling that nothing important actually got done. Your inbox is overflowing. Half-finished projects are scattered across your desk and digital files. And Monday already feels like it’s breathing down your neck….
We came with nothing. We will go with nothing. But right now we are all in profit!The people we compare ourselves with – some of them have more than us and some have less. So what! When we compare ourselves with others remember we never see the complete picture. We see only a part of…
Based on Marshall Rosenberg’s groundbreaking work, here are the most important NVC principles you can start using today to transform your relationships and communication: Example: Instead of “You never listen to me,” try “When I was sharing my work stress and you continued looking at your phone, I felt hurt because I need connection and…
Use a coach when you have the answer, you just need help finding it. A Coach Use a mentor when you need experience, wisdom and perspective. A Mentor Use a therapist when you want to heal from emotional, psychological, and behavioral issues. A Therapist
A complaint can be defined as“Something is not the way I want it to be”.Notice.. I did not put it as“Something is not the way it is supposed to be”.Because the way it is supposed to be can be different things for different people. Take the statement,“My daughter’s room is messy”. Consider this, there is…
A few days back, on Wednesday, my wife Seema and me took off for a one night stay at a place one hour from Pune. It’s been raining in Pune and the weather was absolutely romantic. It was the perfect setting for a long pending heart to heart conversation. I work from home so Seema…
My daughter’s exams start today. I asked her how she’s feeling. You can guess what she replied! We’ve all been through this, haven’t we? Here’s something I shared with her, thought it would be useful to you too. “Arista, I know you’ve been very committed, very hardworking and you’ve prepared well. That’s what counts.. the…
If I wake up with a good mood, feeling fresh, healthy, energetic and inspired to create something new, explore, experiment with life and be upto something.. If during the day I face problems but I am powerfully able to deal with them without getting mad at myself or anybody else and without burdening myself with…
1) Let’s start with reminding ourselves the biggest lie we tell ourselves.. that we have time. No we don’t. It could all be over in a minute. We are all in a queue and who knows who’s next? 2) If you have two hands, two eyes, two ears, one brain and one smartphone that hangs…
Life first teaches us gently. When we don’t listen, it gives us a wake up call. When we still don’t change it gives us a tight slap. It is always up to us at what point in time we want to listen to what life is trying to teach us. We are a product of…
In recent times I’ve been studying the emotion of anger extensively, partly through my own experiences and partly through stuff I’ve been reading. Here are a few key things I’ve learned about anger. 1) Like any other emotion, anger is an emotion that can be controlled. It is normal to feel anger, but to continue…
Monday is a bad day of the week because we say Monday is a bad day of the week. There is no intrinsic reality in it. Our reality gets created through our language. In reality there are no bad days of the week. There are only days of the week we can deal with well…
A few weeks back my 80 year old mother asked me whether there’s a book I could give her to read. I gave her my favourite book “Follow your Heart” by Andrew Matthews. She finished reading it and said “It’s a good mirror to show us how we live our lives!” My mom is Marathi…
Last week my daughter Arista passed her Grade 10 IGCSE board exams and got 5 straight A’s. What was amazing was the ease and grace with which she got her success. Here are a few things we can all learn from Arista’s success irrespective of what age and life context we are in. 1) To…
Met two of my close clients from Mumbai, Prasanna and Archana today.. they had dropped in to Pune. When I first coached them in 2018 they were based in Riyadh. I had subsequently coached their son Atharva who was working in New York then. I have coached many couples/ family members in my coaching career,…
Started my Monday with an intense 5:45am call. The lady I was coaching is recently divorced and is struggling to find a partner who can fill the companionship void. “I’m tired of dating guys Milind. Whoever I’ve met so far, they’re no good. Why does my mind crave for a companion? Why can’t I just…
I am feeling so good about my weight loss journey today that I want to put down some tips that worked for me. (I’ve lost 26 kgs over the years and I’ve maintained it. See my before after pic in the About page). Here we go: 1. BE CLEAR WHY YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT…
Today I paid the 2nd term school fees of my daughter Arista – Rs 56000. I was extremely happy writing the cheque and giving it to the school office. But till a few years back my relationship with money was very different. I was very happy RECEIVING money but used to be very sad…
Sunday 6:49am. I was leaving from home to drop Arista for a nature walk organized by her school. ME: “Arista, your mom told me you’re a bit stressed today. What’s the problem? Tell me. Maybe I can help.” ARISTA: “It’s the 6th and 8th graders Pappa. They’re going to join us 7th graders for the…
You see a husband who’s irresponsible, but that’s YOUR VIEW, that’s not who he is. You see a wife who’s stubborn, but that’s YOUR VIEW, that’s not who she is. You see a boss who’s partial, a neighbour who’s a pest, a friend who’s not trustworthy, a parent who is dominating.. BUT THAT IS…
1) What you have today, you may not have tomorrow. Take nothing for granted. Especially your freedom. Sudden change is an integral part of life. (THREE days back my 250+ flats apartment complex was a safe zone with zero cases throughout 2020. As of one hour back it is a micro containment zone.) 2)…
You are not the perfect child. You are not the perfect spouse. You are not the perfect sibling. You are not the perfect parent. You are not the perfect friend. And you are definitely not the perfect professional. You are getting stressed because you are trying to be perfect. Your mother says, “You’re not…
If you agree with this quote, I win you. If you disagree with it – you win, I lose. I still win you. To me that’s all that matters. #ilosetowin #BeABaazigar
When you lose 27 kgs in a year everyone wants to know HOW you did it. So here’s the secret: 1) Before thinking about losing your weight, work on losing your EGO. There is not enough space in life for a fat ego and a slim body. Dropping your ego means LOVING PEOPLE. Especially the…
A housewife (Taapsee Pannu) gets slapped by her husband. Husband says (without a hint of an apology), “Shit happens yaar. It shouldn’t have happened.. par ab ho gaya na?” Mother-in-Law (Tanvi Azmi) tells her, “Thoda bardaasht karna seekhna chahiye auraton ko”. Mother (Ratna Pathak Shah) is extremely upset that Taapsee is considering divorce, “Yehi din…
WHEN will peace prevail on this beautiful blue-green planet? When we as a human race learn the biggest life lessons of them all.. When we acknowledge that for us to be right, someone else does not automatically have to be wrong.. When we become aware that this Universe works on the principle of abundance and…
“Today was a Difficult Day,” said Pooh. There was a pause. “Do you want to talk about it?” asked Piglet. “No,” said Pooh after a bit. “No, I don’t think I do.” “That’s okay,” said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend. “What are you doing?” asked Pooh. “Nothing, really,” said Piglet. “Only,…
“IT’S A HOPELESS SITUATION. I can never transform my relationship with my father.”, said a client to me yesterday. Sometimes it’s not father, sometimes it’s a spouse, a boss or a sibling. Sometimes it’s a career gone wonky. Or a disastrous personal finance situation. “IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. I CAN’T DO IT.” I hear this all…
I have always seen marriage as a 50 year game. Pretty much like a 50 over cricket match. Here are some things Seema and me have learned about marriage over the last 22 years. (explained in cricket terminology!) 1) The first few overs don’t define a 50 over game. You can bounce back from the…
FEELING ANXIOUS? – Take a deep breath LOST YOUR JOB? – Find another one CAN’T GET A JOB? – Hire yourself DON’T HAVE MONEY TO START ON YOUR OWN? – Borrow from someone CAN’T THINK OF IDEAS? – Think of a problem you can solve DON’T HAVE MOTIVATION? – Look at your bank balance NEED…
In 2009 I quit a corporate job because I wanted to be FREE. 11 years later I can say that I have understood what freedom really is. And what it isn’t. FREEDOM is not merely having lots of money in your bank account. Or lots of time on hand. Although both matter like hell! FREEDOM…
NOT TOO LONG AGO, about 3 years back to be specific I used to label my son Arjun as a LAZY, IRRESPONSIBLE BUM. Today I see him as a HIGHLY RESPONSIBLE, COMMITTED young man. But in these 3 years it is not Arjun who has gone from being lazy to being committed, from being irresponsible…
For years together I used to get affected by a virus called negativity. Its various forms included complaining, being irresponsible, having a chalta hai attitude, playing victim, living in fear, worrying about being judged by people etc. Then I vaccinated myself with some super powerful vaccines. They include living in the present, gratitude, loving people…
My biggest financial mistake: I thought I could be wealthy by earning big money. I didn’t realize that you get wealthy not by HOW MUCH you earn, but by how much you KEEP from what you earn. Do the math: In 27 years of career.. Rs 2 crores income, Rs 2 crores expenses.. how much…
Have I tried to pay my RENT with a HUG? YOU BET I DID! 11 years ago on 3rd Feb 2009 I got LAID OFF from my job as Vice President- Business Development, Sales and Marketing of a Real Estate Company in Chennai.. right in the middle of the world’s worst recession. I had Rs…
1) BE PATIENT. Building a relationship is like growing and nurturing a plant. If you plant a seed and water it, the next day all you will have is a wet seed. Eventually the seed will grow. First the roots will get strong, then the plant will visibly grow above the surface. The same thing…
Just spent 1.5 hours speaking to someone trying to convince him why he should NOT hire me as his life coach. This has become a once a month pattern now. You see I’ve coached a lot of doctors and psychiatrists myself and I remember their advice, “Milind, DO NOT – whatever happens, DO NOT coach…
“Thank you for being there for me”, he told me, as we said bye to each other. It was an emotional moment for both of us as I had met this client for the first time face to face after 26 sessions (I started coaching him in Jan 2021). He had travelled from Luxembourg to…
A summary of what I spoke when I addressed Rotary Club yesterday. It was ultra powerful and wanted to share that power with you.
It’s been an interesting last 30 days for Arista. Last month on her birthday she switched schools. Thanks to the alternative education format we opted for her very early on, she’s never had any tests/ exams till now. This is her first year (and first month) of exams. Here are some of the results and…
Love and Fear are the two primary human emotions. And so I’ve always been a student of how these two work. Here are a few things I’ve learnt over the years: 1) Love and judgement cannot co-exist. If you really love someone there is zero judgement; you’re not hung up with whether they’re right or…
There is no bad luck and there is no good luck. It’s just an event and we have no clue what it will actually lead us to in the future. There is no bad news and there is no good news. It’s just news. And news is news. Something happened. And you have to deal…
I think X about you. But you think that I think Y about you. But I don’t know that you think that I think Y about you. And you don’t know that I think X about you. But the real you is Z which I don’t know. So it’s obvious that I’ll find your behaviour…
This is a beautiful world. Everyone is a good person. There is an abundance of opportunity on this planet to make a difference. Making money is a piece of cake. Right now everything is perfect the way it is and the way it is not. Everything is happening for my greater good. This is a…
I’ve heard this so many times in the last few years, “Even I can become a Life Coach. After all it’s all about giving gyan to people.” Let me tell you, yes, ANYBODY can become a Life Coach provided you are willing to put in the effort. THE EFFORT: 1) You have to experience life….
I had parked our Ertiga in a lane in Pune yesterday when this happened. I returned to our car and found a clamp on our front wheel. A towing van with a lady police constable in it was nearby. I asked the van operator who had a swipe machine ready in his hand, “What’s the…
My message to all the wonderful women in my life.. ???? In whatever role you are doing in life – a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a mother-in-law… you are doing your best. Sometimes people may tell you otherwise. Sometimes you yourself may feel otherwise. Ignore such people (me included). Ignore the negative…
I was speaking to a client who was feeling low and in a state of confusion yesterday. “If I accept this job offer with a 30% increment then it will be great but I will miss out on all the extra time I get in my current job, because the new job will be very…
“I don’t want to go for the farm visit today Pappa, I only want to go for the one on 23rd Feb,” Arista told me just now. ME: “That’s ok, that’s what I’ve told your class teacher and it’s not compulsory anyway.” ARISTA: “But WHAT IF my teacher is not ok with me not coming…
Seema and me did the Andharban forest trek (6.5 hours of climbing down a valley) last weekend and me being me still fired up from that trek, have declared to go even bigger in the coming years. Our friend Sumana was already nudging me to do the Everest Base Camp (EBC) trek with her in…
Uncertainty in and of itself is not a problem. The problem is our attitude, our resistance towards uncertainty. Embrace uncertainty as an inseparable part of living and life will be a blissfully enjoyable experience!
“JUST DO IT Milind.. commit to the K2S trek in March”, urged my friend Sumana last night. I was unsure. I’ve been unsure for a year now whether I can handle such a tough trek. But the last time Sumana and me committed to something, we landed up in the Himalayas (Spiti Valley 2019). But…
8 years ago on this day (24th November) at age 42, I completed my Life Coaching certification. (They taught me how to coach.. how life works I had to learn on my own.. that diploma I will get when I die!) At that time all I had other than this certificate, was support from family…
Paragraph One I walk down the street. There is an open sink hole I didn’t notice. I fall in. I am hurt. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. I cry and complain. It takes a lifetime to come out. Paragraph Two I walk down the street. There is an open sink hole I didn’t…
“She didn’t wish me on my birthday.” So what? “He’s always getting upset over small small things.” Samajh le yaar. “She never calls my mom.” Don’t take it personally man, that relationship is a work in progress. “He takes no responsibility for household work. I have to do everything.” You cannot force responsibility on him….
1) Love is when your wife throws your clothes out of the house because you used the wrong utenstil to make Maggi but you still say sorry to her because you know it’s not her, it’s the hormonal imbalances because of her postnatal depression. 2) Love is when your husband binge drinks every night but…
LADY ON THE PHONE: “Sir, we are calling from Bajaj Finance and we have a very good scheme for you…” ME (interrupting): “Madam, I am really sorry to interrupt you. I understand you have my best interests in mind and I know you are only doing your job and you want to sell me your…
I have TWO intentions of writing this post: 1) To help you heal your relationship with your spouse/ your parents/ your children/ your boss.. anyone who matters to you.. anyone you love. 2) To make my fish Chiku immortal (an assignment a client of mine gave me yesterday!) I got Chiku (breedname Cichlids) into my…
I was recently interviewed by Podcaster Rupesh Nahar in his podcast – The Midlife Station. During the show I shared with him the journey of my life so far, my struggles, the challenges I faced, how I overcame them and what it takes to deal with a midlife crisis. Tune in to the full episode…
Effective coaching is as much about a committed coachee as much it is about a committed coach. And not everyone is coachable. At times even I am not. A coachable person is one who is open, willing to change. Someone who is patient and understands that transformation will not happen in just 2 to 3…
Most of us are too hard on ourselves. We underestimate what we’re capable of achieving. Whenever I feel something is IMPOSSIBLE, I look at my own past achievements, however small or big they may be. The career challenges I overcame, the relationships I transformed, the financial difficulties I worked around, the addictions I got rid…
LIFE is not meant to be a guessing game. There is one thing we have that animals don’t.. and that’s the power of communication. People often wonder why I am so openly expressive about who I love and what I love – in my communication, online and offline. You see when I want…
“COME ON MILIND, I AM NOT GAUTAM BUDDHA!”, she said. “I cannot love everyone unconditionally. It is so difficult. In fact it is impossible to really be in that state.” “Mein Gandhiji nahin hoon,” another one said. If someone does something wrong to me, I will react. If someone hates me, how can you…
“Milind Sir, I’ve been feeling so blissful and happy for the last 2 hours.”, she said. “I want this feeling to last forever. Is there a way?” “NO”, I replied. ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ You see happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin. One can’t exist without the other. Like on Monday afternoon I met…
FOR THE LAST 21 YEARS, I have had to face this question, “Does your wife work?” I have always wondered how to answer that question. Actually the question itself bewilders me because I have never seen anybody’s wife who does not “not work”. Did I sleep through some announcement which said, “A million dollars grand…
Tuesday 7am. Young New York NRI client. He was frustrated that he isn’t learning much in his job. And it’s going to be a few more months of suffering before he can expect a change of project. And the lockdown and the riots are adding to the agony. I asked him, “How much is your…
In 2016 for almost a year I coached a student who was preparing for her IAS exams and dealing with all kinds of struggles in life. Her commitment and perseverance paid off eventually and today she is an Assistant Collector working day and night ON THE FIELD, risking her own life, fighting the battle against…
TODAY.. after her 7th session with me, a client who had signed up for 10 sessions, decided to STOP taking coaching from me. “Milind, in the last 6 sessions itself I got what I wanted. I got clarity on my thinking. On what the next steps on my career should be. I’m no longer thinking…
(Secrets about my first public workshop that I never revealed to anyone.) I had booked a banquet hall in Hotel Deccan Plaza, Chennai for 26th April 2009 full day by paying Rs 10000 advance. It was one of the last swipes on my already overloaded credit card. I was already sitting on Rs 25 Lacs…
Here are some SHOCKING THINGS I learnt about money and banks AFTER I became an adult: LESSON 1 Central banks cannot run out of money because they are the ones that create the money. And you cannot run out of something you create yourself. And that is why the value of money erodes over time….
Photography (and life) have taught me one thing. The beauty of something is not in a subject.. it’s in the lens through which you see the subject. If you want a beautiful world, you just need a change of lens. And strangely, for humans, how we LISTEN, how we INTERPRET things.. that’s the lens with…
LIFE COACHING is a very serious profession. Every day I deal with people who have productivity challenges, severe relationship problems, major self confidence issues etc etc. After 8 years of being in this profession, coaching day in and day out often drains me out. To put some life into my sessions I make it a…
THERE ARE 2 FUNDAMENTAL STEPS NEEDED TO GET WHATEVER YOU WANT IN LIFE: This one is straight from my coaching sessions. I was sitting at the lawns of my apartment complex sometime back watching the moon and it got me into the mood for some power writing! STEP 1: Best told through the story of…
WHAT YOU CAN SEE IN THE PIC: My friend Tushar happy after participating in his first FULL marathon in Mumbai. WHAT YOU CANNOT SEE IN THE PIC: 1) He completed the 42km Tata Mumbai Marathon in 6 hours and 22 minutes. (that’s a lot of running!). He told me many people give up after 30…
“DON’T BELIEVE ME. I AM NOT TELLING THE TRUTH.”, I told someone this morning. “Actually I never tell the truth. Simply because I don’t know what the truth is. And that’s why I don’t even claim to know the truth. All I have is a bunch of opinions. Opinions about you, opinions about my friends,…
As a couple Seema and me are OFF TRACK 90% of the time. The key is that we have a sense of destination. We know what the ‘track’ looks like. And we keep coming back to it time and time again. It’s like the flight of an airplane. Before the flight takes off, the pilots…
I REALLY DON’T CARE about what’s going to happen in my life in 2020. But I DO care how TODAY, is going to turn out. When I hit the bed tonight, I’m going to ask myself: Did I use my day well? Was I kind to people who love me? (Or like Ellen DeGeneres says,…
THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS is having great relationships, says the world’s longest study on happiness. For over 80 years, Harvard Medical School has been studying the happiness of a group of people in the hope that the study would reveal clues to leading healthy and happy lives. The study revealed that CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS, more than…
We spent most of today in intense discussion. That discussion involved emotion, upset, hurt and regret. More importantly that discussion involved clarification of misunderstandings and misinterpretations. It involved authentic expression of our present met and unmet needs. Twelve hours after we started the fight/ argument/communication we wound up agreeing to disagree and we resolved to…
In the last 2 years or so I’ve been on a rampage of self-expression.. online and offline. Most of the four decades before that I’ve mostly been a very shy and timid person, so in that context this is a huge breakthrough. Here are 5 TIPS that I’ve put down to help anyone express themselves…
“I CAN EVEN CHARM QUEEN ELIZABETH IN JUST ONE SITTING”, he said, “… as long as I am SITTING DOWN!” I was puzzled. “Why, what happens when you stand up?”, I asked my client on the other end of the phone (who I had never seen in person). “Well, then they can see how short…
Just in case you didn’t know, I HAVE THREE WIVES. One you see on the top (the one I HAD). One you see in the bottom pic (my PRESENT one). And there’s one you’re yet to see (the one I discover every morning.) Sssshhh.. she’s yet to wake up! I LOVE all three of them….
All I had to do was fly to Delhi, then take an overnight train to Shimla (switch from broad gauge to narrow gauge in between), then drive from Shimla to a tiny village called Lhalung in Himachal located at an altitude of 4000 meters (imagine 6 Lonavlas of 624m altitude on top of each other)….
A lot of nice people came into my life. I learnt how to be like them. A lot of weird people came into my life. I learnt how to love them anyway. Short tempered people gave me practice on how to be calm. Angry people made me realize that I must be empathetic and understanding….
“THIS IS NOT A JAIL.. it’s a juvenile observation home”, I was told before I walked into it today to conduct a group coaching session for the inmates of Pune’s Juvenile Home at Yerawada which houses 40 odd under-trial/ convicted youngsters between 16 and 18 years of age. To be honest I was QUITE NERVOUS…
1) COMFORT ZONE: Life is not working but you feel too resigned to do anything about it. 2) FEAR ZONE: You WANT to do something different but you worry about what people will say if you fail. You justify to yourself why it is better to stay where you are. You keep yourself stuck because…
The biggest lesson I have learnt in my life is: “Authenticity is EVERYTHING.” If I want to feel powerful, I should be authentic. If I want to be successful, I should be authentic. If I want love, I should be authentic. I have learnt it the hard way that when I feel powerless, when I…
The Date: 7-7-7. Apollo Hospital, Chennai. My wife’s gynec comes out of the Operation Theatre and tells me, “I’ve got Good news and Bad news for you!” “Good news is, you’re now the father of a baby girl.” “Bad news is, you already had one Cancerian in the house, now you have ONE MORE! All the…
Whatever you are resisting – unwanted people, unwanted communication from people, unwanted habits, unwanted health conditions, unwanted career situation, unwanted financial situation.. STOP RESISTING IT. The more you resist it, the more it will persist in your life. You will keep getting more of it in your life. On the other hand, when you ACCEPT…
Many people think that it is very EASY to be a Life Coach. First of all it sounds cool and it sounds like you get paid good bucks to give gyan to people and fix what is wrong about them. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s very tough to live the life of…
Spent the morning cleaning and polishing a trophy my mom had got in 1985. It was for the MEGHDOOT AWARD – instituted by the Department of Posts for Honesty and Integrity in service. My mother was the first woman postal employee in India to get this award. In the early 60s she was one of…
“Milind, It’s a VERY DEPRESSING ENVIRONMENT here. It’s minus 14 degrees, everything’s covered with snow and there’s not a human being in sight on the roads.” This 28 year old Ivy League MBA student I’m coaching lives on the US East Coast and she was feeling really low when I started my weekly coaching call…
For the last 6 months I’ve been coaching a young businessman who goes scuba diving with sharks every year. He has no fear of sharks because he knows sharks don’t like to eat people (and that’s simply because they don’t like the way we taste!) Studies show they respond strongly to the smell of seals…
“Is the glass half empty or half full?” is the proverbial phrase to indicate that a particular situation could be a cause for optimism (half full) or pessimism (half empty). There’s a THIRD WAY you could look at it. You could look at the glass as “half empty AS AN OPPORTUNITY” as opposed to the…
A few months back thanks to my daughter’s insistence we got home a small fish called Fighter and put him in a small fish bowl. Last month I thought Fighter must be getting bored alone in his small bowl so I got him two friends (small fish called Rainbow fish). Then the bowl seemed too small…
During a brutal study at Harvard in the 1950s, Dr. Curt Richter placed rats in a pool of water to test how long they could tread water. On average they’d give up and sink after 15 minutes. But right before they gave up due to exhaustion, the researchers would pluck them out, dry them off,…
Just to clear my head and to remind myself how I am choosing to live my life, I’m going to write 10 life fundas and as soon as I finish I’m going to hit the POST button: 1) I am on this planet to learn lessons. Every person in my life is a teacher, especially…
As I was going through my files just now I stumbled upon this set of 9 affirmations my wife Seema had put together for me about a decade back when I was DOWN IN THE DUMPS and perhaps at my lowest phase in life. (Many of the affirmations are from various Louise Hay books she…
Just finished a coaching call with a young businesswoman. She asked me “How do I let go of worrying about what people will say if my newest restaurant fails? Is there an affirmation that will help me with this?” I’m a highly intuitive coach, so out came out of my mouth, “Screw what people will…
Do good to others, people will remember it. (Although in the real world people don’t always come back later and acknowledge the good we did for them.. but that doesn’t mean that they don’t remember it.)
Thanks to my profession I have the privilege of seeing what kind of AWESOMENESS human beings are capable of bringing into their lives. But the two amazing people who inspire me the most are my mom and my wife. Everytime I see them together, I become present to how these two ended 16 years of…
One imperfect woman + One imperfect man, each of whom have unconditionally taken 100% responsibility for marital harmony = One perfect marriage ????.
Here’s some life advice from the ancient Greeks: Instead of simply having one concept of love, the ancient Greeks believed there were SIX DIFFERENT TYPES OF LOVE, all equally important: EROS, the fiery, passionate love you feel toward a lover; PHILIA, the platonic love between friends and family; LUDUS, the playfulness found among new lovers…
I’ve been coaching this young lady who (like most of us) has been dealing with countless problems. Last week she went on a week-long trip to Ladakh and in this morning’s coaching call she told me, “Sir, after the trip all my problems have disappeared. I now realize that ALL I NEED is Oxygen and…
Why say this? Because you are not your strengths. And you are not your weaknesses. What you did and what you had or have doesn’t define you either. If you say you’re stuck, you are. If you say you’re just OK, you surely are. And if you say you’re finished, you most definitely are. You…
There was a point in time when I always used to envy some of my illustrious IIM Bangalore batchmates. 26 years after graduating, many of them are country heads, CEOs and Managing Directors of multi-million dollar companies in India and abroad. They jet set around the world, stay in 5-star hotels and some of them…
“Whoever has, will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.” You have to admit that when you read the passage it appears unjust, as it seems to be saying that the rich will get richer and the poor will get…
So my daughter’s coach (an Australian lady who’s 77) told my daughter (who is 13).. “Tell your parents why you love them..” My daughter began.. “I love them because…” “No no.. tell THEM why you love them.. don’t tell ME.” ———————————— Lesson 1: LOVE is a function of communication. Most of us make the mistake…
One of the biggest side-effects of traditional educational systems is that they train your brain to categorize everything into right and wrong territory. Well the real world doesn’t work like that. Nothing is black and white… there are a zillion shades of grey in between. What makes perfect sense for someone else might look dumb…
If only you knew how beautiful you really are, you wouldn’t even think of competing with those next to you. Even your imperfections are part of your beauty. In fact your imperfections make you unique. Why would you even want to be like someone else? You may want to work on yourself and that’s ok….
..and today also you will say tomorrow. And tomorrow also you will say tomorrow. And before you realize it December will come and then you will say I’ll start on 1st Jan. If you don’t want to do something, tell yourself .. “I don’t want to do it.. and I’m willing to take responsibility for…
One of the single biggest problems of human beings is that we predict the future on the basis of the past. It’s the ultimate illusion! Life is NOT like an arithmetic progression! Things won’t happen in the future simply because they happened in the past. Whatever happens in our present and in our future is…
I have a framed version of this poster in my house.. I’ve had it for many years. Don’t miss the bottom of the poster, which says ‘Taking risks takes practice.’ I agree. I have taken SO MANY risks in my life, especially big ones, I’ve lost count. Obviously not all risks work out. With some…
JUST IN CASE this message is still undelivered to you: 1) You are good enough. In fact you are AWESOME! 2) Screw your weaknesses. Focus on your strengths and you’ll go a far far way in life. 3) People around you not just need you, they’re dependent on you, so what if they don’t express…
If you think you’re not doing well financially, look at this: A Govt driver in INDIA earning Rs 25000 per month is in the Top 5.55% of the WORLD’s population ranked by income! See other figures: – Engineer: Rs 50000 per month: Top 0.86% – School principal: Rs 75000 per month: Top 0.29% – Private…
Real power does not come from money. Or fame. Or popularity. You experience real power when you can say what you want to say and do what you want to do. Real power comes when you are unstoppable in the face of fear. And when you give up worrying about what people will think about…
One of my clients was on a vacation to Switzerland with his wife and while driving across the country they stumbled into a small town called Saanen. The Saanen airstrip, the railway station and the surroundings seemed way too familiar and it’s wasn’t long before he discovered that these were the locations at which many…
Today I complete ONE HUNDRED MONTHS of no salary. On this emotional day I thank all the people who helped me financially and emotionally to ride out all those months when I was struggling and when my income was either NIL or less than what I needed to pay my bills. These include my mom,…
In the pic.. you probably see a Before-After Rubik’s cube. What I see is the journey of a client I’ve been coaching for the last 5 months. This young client used to take 30 odd minutes to solve the cube a few months back. Now he does it in less than 25 SECONDS. He used to…
There is a story about a man phoning Dr. Schuller… The man said, “It’s over. I’m finished. All my money has gone. I’VE LOST EVERYTHING.” Dr. Schuller asked, “Can you still see?” The man replied, “Yes, I can still see.” Dr. Schuller asked, “Can you still walk?” The man replied, “Yes, I can still walk.”…
You only live once? False. You live everyday. You only die once. MAKE EACH DAY COUNT
I’ve been thinking all day today why I follow my heart much more than I use my head.. came up with two reasons: 1) I remembered what I had read it 2002.. that we have THREE brains. One in the head, one in the heart and one in the gut region. Neurological research has proven…
We all have a GABBAR SINGH in our life, who in reality is not as bad and menacing as he looks. It’s just that we’ve never seen the other side of him. The GABBAR we have in our life is perhaps playing just a role.. he is there to teach us “Jo dar gaya, samjho…
I had this interesting conversation with my one of my coachees.. She’s self-employed and wanted to increase her own client base and was asking me the secret to my successful coaching practice. Here’s what I told her.. Me: “Whether you are employed or self-employed, the secret is to GIVE more than what you get paid…
Watched Cars 3 yesterday – here’s the central message I got: “Don’t worry about winning or losing. Worry about not having that chance..” So true: Very often in life we just sit in the stands and judge the game. Which does neither us nor the scoreboard any good. You want to experience ALIVENESS? When you…
Super inspiring poster: “MAKE MISTAKES.. Penicillin was discovered by accident. Don’t be afraid to experiment.” No wonder a wise man once said.. “A mistake is simply another way of doing things.” I made tons of mistakes all my life and it’s never too late to make some more. I made a huge mistake last week and…
VOGUE MAGAZINE interviewed me recently to get tips to help people work from home efficiently. I listed down 17 tips – all of them coming from my own experience of working from home for 11 years now (since 1st March 2009). They published 8 of these tips in their article, but here’s the whole list:…
A TV anchor once asked Martina Navratilova, “How do you maintain your focus and manage to keep playing, even at the age of 43 ?” Her suave response was, “The ball doesn’t know how old I am. Besides, for 90% of the match I don’t have to focus”. In a typical tennis match, the players spend…
Whatever you are resisting – unwanted people, unwanted communication from people, unwanted habits, unwanted health conditions, an unwanted career situation, an unwanted financial situation.. STOP RESISTING IT. The more you resist it, the more it will persist in your life. You will keep getting more of it in your life. On the other hand, when…
On 1st March 2019 I completed TEN YEARS of Self-Employment and freedom from the corporate world. Here are TEN tips if you want to break free (and stay free) from the Golden Cage someday: 1) “Someday” will NEVER come on its own. “Someday” is created by you saying.. “That’s it. I’m done with this 9…
To quit or not to quit. That is not only the question, it is often the ultimate question! There are times when we feel enough is enough and we feel a huge urge to quit our jobs. And we don’t because we aren’t quite sure if that’s the right thing to do. Often we go…
Time flies. One more year. One more opportunity to live the kind of life you’ve been wanting to live. Sometimes the resolutions we make for the new year are pretty much the same as those in the previous year. Sometimes the list is longer. The resolve is strong. But somewhere at the back of our…
As part of my coaching practice, I often come across situations where a Client is in a blissfully happy state and wants to stay in that state forever. Who doesn’t want to? But for some reason that state doesn’t last. Here’s what I have come to understand of how life works and WHY it works…
Our typical day is filled with things to do. Sometimes it looks like that’s all there is to life.. DOING THINGS! And when you finish doing things… you have more things to do! It can be overwhelming. In the kind of complex world we live in, there is no shortage of things to do. There’s…
In my previous post “How to be responsible. Even when you’re not accountable.”, I shared with you what a gift responsibility can be. A gift for ourselves. In this post we will see how we can use this gift to feel more in control and generate power for ourselves.
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” said Alice. “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. “I don’t much care where ..” said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat. ” .. so long as I…
Admit it. We are all meaning-making-machines. We keep creating meanings all the time. And we don’t have to work too hard to do that. Creating meanings is an automated task for us. Somebody says something to us.. we create a meaning. Somebody keeps quiet when they are with us.. we create a meaning. Something happens…
Here’s a magic mantra that changed the way I looked at people completely. “We can never see people the way they actually are. We can only see them the way our mind creates them.” No information goes into us without our mind filtering it. We see what we want to see. What we see is…
I come across a lot of people who ask me how they (and their businesses) can survive in an economy that’s hit by recession. I want to share with you what I usually share with them. It has to do with a much abused term. Value. Firstly, I believe there are two economies. The…
Your 5 year old kid throws a tantrum and refuses to go to school anymore. Your older son gets pathetic marks in 8 out of 9 subjects. The wash basin in your house starts leaking in the middle of a party. The household help bunks work for the fifth time in the month. The cabbies…
Even as I write this, I’m experiencing the joy and privilege of “being alive”. I can feel the breeze at my window, hear the sounds on the street below, sense the pain in my back..What a wonderful feeling! And it sure feels great to be able to focus on the present moment and be completely…
“Ah Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad.” – Master Oogway in the movie Kung Fu Panda Master Oogway’s simple words hide the profoundness of the wisdom they express. Profound but still puzzling, especially in an age where we can’t get by one day without the media and society bombarding us…
You’re sitting in front of your comp. And forwarding a joke to your friends. You smile to yourself even as you’re sending the joke. You can imagine your friends smiling too. Guess one of them does. Coz he replies immediately “Good one, pal!”. You’re not the one who made up the joke, but you almost…
Do you remember times when you’ve been positive and empowered for several days in a row and all of a sudden, one negative situation drained you of your energy and put you in a low-life state? Or you’ve been optimistic and productive all day, and the energy just dropped fast as evening approached? We all…
Need to concentrate on creating something significant? Need focus? Staying focused in itself is a big achievement today especially with the information overload and the multitude of distractions that surround us. When you’re focused, the results are amazing. You don’t just get more done, you get it done better. Here are 5 ways you can…
Next time someone asks you ‘Do you have brains?’, tell them you have THREE of them. Yes you really do. We all have three brains, one in the head, one in the heart and one in the gut. No kidding! It’s a proven fact of neurological science. And it’s also proven that the brains in…
How often have you heard someone telling you “I’m the type who likes to be busy.” Or “My house is always neat and tidy.” “I’m a class-topper.” Or even “I always play to win.” The list can go on and on.. “I CAN NEVER…” ,“I’M TOO FINICKY TO …”, “ I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A…”, You might think “What’s wrong…
Are you caught up in the ‘SHOULD BE’ trap? I was. I always felt that things SHOULD happen the way I expected. My clients SHOULD be reasonable. My family SHOULD be more understanding. My boss SHOULD be more sensitive. My colleagues SHOULD be less jealous. The traffic SHOULD follow lane discipline. The neighbour’s dog SHOULD…
What do you do when you’ve opened too many programs on your computer and it hangs? REBOOT IT! What’s the best thing to do when your phone’s memory is jammed by too many open applications? RESET IT! What happens when you reboot/reset electronic devices? The unwanted data disappears from memory and the device starts functioning the way…
Look.. for the right job. Look.. for the right product. Look.. for the right relationship. Look here. Look there. Is life all about looking around? When will you stop looking and start doing? You know what, sometimes it’s more exciting, when you have a good look.. RIGHT AFTER you’ve done something! So what if you end up…
We all want to be loved right? By our family, by our friends, our colleagues, our neighbors.. And so often we do get that love. We really do. Even if we don’t believe it! Question is, how much do WE really love OURSELVES? I would say most of us are so caught up in attracting…
Don’t put off to tomorrow what you can do today.. is what everyone says. And I agree. Yet I procrastinate..so often. Like most people alive, it comes really easily to me! But there’s one thing I don’t procrastinate about.. living Life! Life is far too precious for me to put off to tomorrow. But I…
Why is it that some people are always cribbing about lack of time and there are others who seem to have it in abundance? They say people who crib about lack of time are actually disorganized, inefficient, lazy. I thought – shouldn’t it be the other way round? People who have lots of time probably…
I once read something really interesting about our brain. It is said that there is a powerful part of the brain, the Amygdala, that wants the world to run on routine, not change. Located within an ancient area of the mind that deals with the way you perceive and respond to the world, the Amygdala…
When I was 22 years old (that was nearly 20 years ago), I was not the same person I am today. I was shy, timid, weak (literally!) I remember I was on a train journey from Pune to Bangalore, a distance of over 600 miles. My first long distance journey alone! I was scared like…
Inertia is a BAD word. It can wreak havoc in your life. Sometimes getting out of bed and wearing your jogging shoes can seem to be the most difficult thing to do in life. Yet one day you are able to move yourself out of lethargy. You not only wear your shoes, you actually go…
“We are here to learn lessons, the world is our classroom and Life is our teacher” – Andrew Matthews. If there ever was one thought that changed my life, it is the quote above. This philosophy suddenly gave new meaning to my life. I started seeing sense in everything that was happening around me. I…