Lessons on Success and Failure

Last week my daughter Arista passed her Grade 10 IGCSE board exams and got 5 straight A’s. What was amazing was the ease and grace with which she got her success.

Here are a few things we can all learn from Arista’s success irrespective of what age and life context we are in.

1) To succeed in life, we need to let go of the desperation to succeed. Because the more you’re desperate for something, the more you push it away.

2) Success and Failure in life are not absolute. They are relative and more importantly context sensitive. It is not that you succeed but in what conditions and under what context you succeed that matters more.

3) Success and Failure on their own are meaningless. It is how you deal with success or failure that matters more.

When you are successful but you’re complaining that you’re not as successful as someone else, that’s a failure. And when you’ve failed but take full responsibility for it that is success!

4) Everyone has potential to succeed. But it is important to provide a healthy, nurturing environment to a person for him/her to succeed. You cannot expect a high quality seed to blossom into a beautiful plant on an infertile land.

Often when you are not successful, it is important to assess not just the quality of your efforts but also the quality of the environment you are in.

5) I have forgotten how many times I have repeated to Arista the revolutionary advice Jack Ma (founder of the Rs 130000 crores Chinese company Alibaba.com) gave his son.

His advice: “You don’t need to be in the top three in your class, being in the middle is fine, so long as your grades aren’t too bad. Only this kind of person [a middle-of-the-road student] has enough free time to learn other skills.”

Jack Ma himself was not a particularly strong student (he failed his college entrance exam thrice)!

Seema (my wife) and me are happy that all through last year Arista took her studies seriously and with responsibility but did not get obsessed with being the best and stayed out of the rat race.

Congrats and well done Arista. Heartfelt acknowledgement to Seema for standing by her emotionally throughout the journey. A big thank you to Arista’s school DLRC for their guidance and support!

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Milind Jadhav is a Certified Life Coach who helps people do whatever it is they need to do so that they have ZERO regrets at the age of 80.
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Milind Jadhav is a Certified Life Coach who helps people do whatever it is they need to do so that they have ZERO regrets at the age of 80.

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